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Black Love, African American Love

A Black Love Blog that explores every dimension of African American relationships

I’m against same-sex marriage as a heterosexual male that’s been married for 22 years. And, been having the same sex for 21 years. It gets a little old. “Turn out the lights, dear. Close the door, dear. Did you let the dog out? Did you let him back in, dear?”
And now the government is seeking to ban the only sex I’ve been having and assume I’ll be able to have the rest of my life. Since when does the government care about what happens inside MY bedroom. It’s not that “sexy”. It just is what it is. I’ve resigned myself to it – so why can’t the government?
For the record, I’m all for different sex marriage. But, you see, I’m not gonna bring it up to the misses. No, it’s worked pretty well the past 22 years and with any luck, for the next twenty-two years.
Oh sure, once in a while – when the kid’s not home, we may go to a room other than our bedroom – but that doesn’t happen all that often. And there was that time in a hotel on a trip to
South Carolina. But, for the most part, it’s been the same sex.
Oh, when we were married, I thought it’d be different all the time. We were so young then, and I was so foolish. But it became pretty clear, pretty quickly that once a pattern was established, it was pretty much set in stone.
The rules have never been discussed but they sure are crystal clear to me.
ONE, never ask for sex – same sex or different sex. If you get some, be glad that it’s come your way. And always be appreciative.
TWO, never ask for sex. Same sex or different sex.
THREE, always make sure the light is out.
FOUR, always make sure the door is locked – even when no one else is home.
FIVE, always make sure the dog is back in the house before instituting rules three and four.
So, you see, I know the rules. I know it’s gonna be same sex. And that’s good enough for me. And it certainly seems good enough for the misses. So, government. But out! Our same sex is none of your business. It usually is none of my business. But when I make it my business, I don’t need your help. And neither does the misses.
Ben Merens is a public speaker and a talk show host at Wisconsin Public Radio in Milwaukee.
He and his wife will celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary on June 21st.
Ben’s website is

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