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Black Love, African American Love

A Black Love Blog that explores every dimension of African American relationships

Category Archives: african american love

Jaleel White: 'Family Matters' Star Accused of Domestic Violence

From YourBlackWorld.com

Jaleel White, better known as Steve Urkel from the television show, "Family Matters," was accused of beating his girlfriend, Bridget Hardy, who is also the mother of his 10-month old child.  She reported the abuse to the LAPD, stating that White punched her in her breast implants while they were on the highway driving in their car.

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This poll was taken in response to the article Does the black church keep women single and lonely? – The majority of black women believe that they should open their dating horizons in general and that in spite of what Deborah Cooper has to say, the church can be a good place to find a Godly man.  What do you think?

Black women need to open their dating horizons in general

50%
266

No — It’s a woman’s right to seek a Godly man

22%
118

Yes — It’s a bad place to meet men

10%
51

No Comment / Not Sure

9%
49

Either way, I find her views judgemental

9%
47

A black woman put a list of her dating requirements on my facebook page as part of a broader conversation some were having about black relationships and why they don’t work.  I wonder what others think about this list and whether or not it’s healthy to have a list like this in your quest for true love.  Here is the list:

 

I don’t date men in jail
I don’t date men with children
I don’t date men who don’t have a job
I don’t date men who  are not career oriented
I don’t date men who have a criminal history (it’s called a background check and I highly recommend it)
I don’t date men who carry guns
I don’t date men who abuse drugs
I don’t date men who are verbally or physically abusive to anything OR anyone
I don’t date men who borrow money
I don’t date men who reject education
I don’t date men who can’t cook and clean
I don’t date men who can’t cry
I don’t date men who disrespect their mothers
I don’t date men who worship their mothers
I don’t date men who are still in love with his ex
I don’t date men who are married
I don’t date men who are separated
I don’t date men who are legally separated
I don’t date men in open relationships
I don’t date men who have girlfriends
I don’t date men who have a girlfriend
I don’t date men who brag about taking care of their kids
I don’t date men who don’t take care of their kids
I don’t date men who don’t know how to get rid of an ex-girlfriend
I don’t date men who are disrespectful to their ex-wives
I don’t date men who refuse to take an AIDS test

by Dr. Boyce Watkins

It appears that the singer Brian McKnight is now a not-so-proud father. Well, the child isn’t exactly a baby either. According to TMZ, the child is a 14-year old that Brian hasn’t exactly claimed to be his own. Well, whether McKnight chooses to address the child as his own or not, a Florida judge has ruled that Brian must now take financial responsibility for the child. The amount owed? $341,640, which comes out to just over $2,000 per month for every month since the child was born.

The mother of the child, Miriam Lee, took Brian McKnight to court to establish paternity last year. Why she waited so long to do so is not clear. From this point on, the singer is responsible for making child support payments in the amount of $11,388 per month. The ruling was a default judgment, since McKnight was not in court and didn’t respond to the woman’s claim of paternity.

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The age of the Hoochie Mama is over

by Dr. Boyce Watkins | TheLoop21 in Culture & Society

It’s time for hip hop, and its audience, to grow up.

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by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University

A note to Slim Thug: You probably just need to be quiet for a while. It’s not to say thatyour comments about black women were outside your rights to freedom of speech, but if you keep dissing the audience most likely to go out and buy your records, you are probably going to end up in the same poorhouse as MC Hammer. Don’t get me wrong, black men love your music (at least I do), but the bottom line is that brothers don’t buy albums, books, or anything else put up for sale. But when black women turn on you, it’s a wrap son. Settle down and go back to the studio; it’s good for your financial health.
I wrote yesterday about the comments made by Slim Thug regarding how he perceives white women to be a better dating choice than black women, as well asColumbia Professor Marc Lamont Hill’sresponse to Slim Thug’s words. It seems that the debate has taken a life of it’s own, now that rapper Talib Kweli has joined the conversation. In a recent essay he wrote for Vibe Magazine, Talib Kweli was ever the diplomatic artist, as he showed respect for Slim Thug, but also expressed his own concerns for his colleague’s remarks about black women:

Click to read.

To read more about the debate regarding Slim Thug’s comments about black women, click here.

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by Lola Adesioye, Huffington Post

Over the past few months, black women and their relationships – or should I say, lack thereof – have been getting a lot of attention. The Washington Posthas done a couple of features on it. Then ABC’sNightline did a show asking why there are so many single black women.

All of a sudden the mainstream media is taking a keen interest in our love lives. We are being told that there is a ‘crisis’ amongst black women, particularly educated professional women, who are apparently unable to find a ‘decent’ black man.

Last night, ABC continued once again, with the airing of "Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?," a taped discussion featuring Hill Harper, Steve Harvey, The View’s Sherri Shepherd and others.

There’s no doubt that it’s a topic that sparks heated debates and discussions amongst black women and men. It has for years. But is it really that bad? Or is the media – now that it has found a hot topic – exploiting this issue for all that it’s worth? I’m an educated black woman and I personally have no problem with meeting eligible, educated, great black men. Whether or not I choose to date them is another thing, but they are out there.

I am somewhat perturbed by the slew of stories on this topic. They are negative, unhelpful and only serve to perpetuate negative ideas about black men and women which often become self-fullfiling. They basically say ‘oh, poor black women. They try so hard yet can’t find a decent man … Boo hoo, black women are victims. Ooh, it’s all the fault of those pathetic black men. You know, they have no education or are locked up in jail.’ Sorry, but I do not subscribe to that view.

 

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by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Finance Professor – Syracuse University

As a Finance Professor, I find it incredibly ironic that many people get married without talking about money. They talk about every kind of compatibility from emotional, to spiritual, sexual, and professional, but they seldom take the time necessary to ensure that they can tolerate the idea of sharing their financial life with a person who may not be on the same page. This problem is compounded in black relationships, where many women describe economic hurdles as one of the reasons that black women have trouble finding the right mate.

 

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By Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University

blacklove

I watched an ABC News special the other night featuring Steve Harvey, Jacque Reed, Sherri Shepherd and my homeboys Hill Harper and Jimi Izrael. The show covered a tried and true topic that is sure to get sky rocket ratings from the black community:  The topic was, Why successful black women can’t find a good man.   I am not going to risk bringing on the wrath of black women by saying things that some of them may not want to hear, but I have to be honest about what I saw.  Let me just cut to the chase and lay the issues out one-by-one:

1)  Why are black women taking relationship advice from Steve Harvey? Not to disrespect Steve’s ability to drop knowledge, but isn’t he a comedian?  If we are taking relationship advice from a comedian and our relationship turns into a joke, who do we blame in the end?  Bottom line – perhaps learning how to love another person means that after you put aside the book by the comedian, you should go out and buy a book by a relationship expert.

2) Most good women have little trouble getting married to decent men:  One has to be skeptical of the beautiful, intelligent, fully capable woman who simply says that she can’t find a good man anywhere.  Most women I know who are well-balanced and who also appreciate the idea of respecting men in the same way they would like to be respected have no trouble finding suitable mates.  Sorry to break this to you, but the only constant variable in your relationships is a person called YOU.   Rather than pointing the finger at the world, a bit more introspection might be called for:  perhaps you have to reconsider your laundry list of expectations or wonder if you’re not doing a good job finding men who are open to commitment (it’s easy to find a man, just not easy to find a man who is willing to be with you and you only- maybe different types of men should not be held to the same standards).  You may be fishing in the wrong ponds in the first place or using the wrong bait to catch the fish you’re bringing home.

3) If you want something bad enough, take a class: There are classes on relationships and marriage out there that don’t cost much money.  If you are determined to be the best mate you can possibly be, it might make sense to take a class (not just the counseling you get from your pastor) that explains all the subtleties and challenges of being married.  A relationship is not about a mate filling your long and detailed list of needs and expectations.  The bottom line is that if you hope to receive more, you must first fully commit yourself to giving more.  Some of us are taught that we should expect the world and not offer anything in return:  that’s a perfect recipe for getting dumped.

4) Big mistake – always chasing the alpha male: I know a lot of “regular guys” who are unable to find a woman that is interested in being with them.  This is especially true in their mid-twenties, when everyone is single and living fancy-free, with little expectation for long-term commitment.  Some of the women these  ”regular guys” are interested in are not paying them much attention, mainly because the woman has become enchanted with the dream-like alpha male:  the guy who fits every single portion of the checklist (height, income, education, toe nail length, swag, etc.), but who may not be available for a monogamous, long-term relationship.  What many women seem to forget is that there are some men who always have room for another woman on the roster.  If you’re wasting all your time with the lying, cheating, super dog, you might miss out on the chance to be with the man who will love you forever and father all of your children.  He may not come in the same package, and by comparing the two without considering the differences in what each of them offers, you may be passing up on your opportunity.

5) Relationships should not be a pissing contest: One of the by-products of many black children growing up in single parent homes is that their relationships become highly contentious.  I once saw a neck swinging, energized woman say, “I need a man who can handle me!”  What I wanted to tell her is that your man should not have to “handle” you as if you are a wild bull with his testicles sewn together.  The act of love is a process of being open, feeling and sharing, not trying to dominate one another.  So, if you need to be “handled” in your relationships, realize that you are likely going to only attract men who are mean, rough and insensitive enough to handle you effectively.  Fighting and domination is not the same as love – let’s not get it twisted.

6) There’s nothing wrong with a few gender roles: Sherri Shepherd, during an especially volatile segment of the ABC News show, swung her hands around in the air saying, “I don’t have time to validate you every day!” – referring to the fact that she doesn’t feel that it’s her job to make her man feel good about himself on a regular basis.  What’s interesting is that most women want their man to make them feel beautiful and to feel like a woman.  So, why is it not acceptable for a man to expect his wife to make him feel like a man?   A man doesn’t want to marry another guy – or rather, a woman who feels that any and all gender roles are an insult to her feminine independence, who expects the man to be willing to be regularly emasculated.   It’s O.K. to make your man feel like he’s THE man, a king and a leader.  A good man will surely return the favor and make you feel like a beautiful woman.

7) Let’s be real- many men aren’t as excited about marriage as women: As much as we want to believe that men grow up fantasizing about their wedding day the same way that many women do, the truth is that this is not the case.  Many men see marriage as a frightening commitment that will cause them to be vilified for actions they can engage in without consequence when they are single (notice the millions of dollars that Shaquille O’neal and the rapper Nas have paid to get out of their marriages – every man gets petrified when he reads these stories).  A woman who gets her husband is the one who makes the man WANT to be married: she let’s him feel free, strong, needed, loved and supported.   While this may seem to be a primitive concept, the reality is that the reverse is true for sex:  Men and women both want it, but men know they have to work just a little bit harder to “get some.”  They’ve got to buy flowers, take the woman to dinner, and make her feel comfortable.  It would be silly for a man to think that a woman should buy him flowers and beg him to have sex with her.  The converse is true for marriage – where getting a man to overcome his anxiety is a great way to get him to give you what you want.

I love black women:  My mother, daughter and grandmother are black women and there is not a more precious group of women on the planet.  But the truth is that this “woe is me, black men ain’t sh*t” attitude has to be replaced with something more constructive.  If not, we’ll be having these same forums 20 years from today.  I had a conversation on black women and relationships with Lola Adesioye from the Huffington Post.  Click here if you’d like to listen.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and the author of the book,“Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

by Dr. Boyce Watkins 

Singing great Anita Baker barely missed going to jail Friday in a dispute with her ex-husband over music royalties. The 52-year old Baker found herself in a heated battle with Walter Bridgforth, her ex-husband, over the details of their divorce settlement.
"I’m so happy. … I have never been in such a position before," Baker said in the hallway outside court. "And we don’t intend to ever be in such a position ever again. I just wanna go home,and I’m happy to go home. … As horrific as it could have been, it was lovely to feel supported, though, on the other end."
Baker was faced with a deadline Wednesday to sign documents that empower court-appointed music contract expert Howard Hertz to obtain information from record labels regarding how much Baker owed her ex-husband. The deadline passed and Baker still had not signed. This led to the Wayne County Chief Family Court Judge Lita Masini Popke ordering Baker to either show up in court on Friday or go to jail.

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by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University 

When I heard that Chris Brown hit his ex-girlfriend Rihanna, I was concerned and surprised.  I also found myself irritated by the fact that many women, along with my teenage daughters, were quick to forgive Chris for his actions, primarily because they think he has a great voice and a cute face.  I had little sympathy for Chris Brown, and doing something like that to one of my girls would’ve had him singing a cappella for the rest of his life.

RELATED: Rihanna: Chris Brown “Had No Soul In His Eyes”

But that’s where I have to get off the Chris Brown bashing bus.  In spite of my frustration with Chris’ behavior, I cannot endorse the media’s decision to turn his relationship with Rihanna into a one-sided slugfest, committed by yet another violent black man whose rage consistently overrides his intellect.  I also cannot endorse Rihanna’s decision to bring ABC News into her relationship, portraying herself as the completely innocent victim who was terrorized by the big, scary black man.  Yes, she is the victim, but we all know that love is not that simple.

Let’s be clear: No man should ever put his hands on a woman in a violent way.  We all agree on that.   Not only is it morally wrong, but it’s an easy way for a man to find himself in jail (especially if he’s black).  We should also agree that no woman should put her hands on any man.  The second point might be subject to disagreement, but the truth is that you shouldn’t hit someone if you don’t expect to get hit back.  While that person might end up being punished by the police, you might end up in the morgue.  We can also agree that the disproportionate amount of force that a man is capable of inflicting is a legitimate reason that the man is more to blame than the woman, even if both parties are involved in a physical altercation.

 

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I was flipping through a Women’s Health recently (I admit it), and I noticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following as the most common breakup reasons:

When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported "no" with "because I said so." I always wanted a reason. I’m not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you’ll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

I Got Bored: I’ve read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is (Wikipedia):

"Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse at all, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this amount of time, it is likely that an individual’s eyes will shift focus, or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness."

 

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Visit Your Black World for the latest in Black News!

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by Nicole Spence , Your Black World 

 
Hey guys,
I know I’m late but Let’s get busy( in my Aresenio Hall voice! Lol),
I have an interesting Dear Nicole letter read below:
the other night while getting some head from my girl she tried something new and stuck a finger in my azz and i nutted like i never before and it felt really good but i don’t want her to think I’m gay or something how do i tell her i really liked that shit damm why did it feel so good? i need to know because if felt so fucking good but i’m no fag is that acceptable? thanks
Wow!! My first reaction is that you’re not gay! But Let’s be clear if a man that I’m seeing asked me to put a finger in his booty, I would immediately think his ass was gay!!
I mean that’s just a hell of a request!
But you didn’t ask for it, your girlfriend just tried something new and it turns out you dig it! It’s actually kinda cool, that you guys are delving into uncharted territory like that. Sounds freaky but she is teaching you about your body. So that’s cool! And I don’t think you have to tell her how much you liked it, I’m sure she can tell by your reaction! Shooot if she likes to "Rep her city" as much as I do, she’ll be doing that shit again and again for that same explosive reaction! Congrats!!

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by Nicole Spence 

So a good friend of mine recently started digging in the crates, and began messing with an old flame!
These 2 dated years ago pretty heavy actually, ish happened and they parted ways. But now he’s back! The sex that she remembers was pretty fiery! Although she does recall having to initiate some of their sexual encounters. But it was still pretty Calente!
He’s about 8years older than her, so she was looking forward to the whole " daddy" experience. Unfortunately things "down south" haven’t been quite the way she remembers, while talking over Patron shots, she asked me if she should give him the ol Heave hoe!
Here’s the skinny!

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by Nicole Spence

So I was on the way to school talking on the phone with one of my girlfriends. I brought up a previous conversation that I had with my friend Jack. Just recently Jack invited me to go with him to check out this Sex club in Brooklyn. Jack knows damn well that I won’t be partaking in any of the reckless behavior, but we both figured it would be juicy material for me to write about, if I wasn’t such a damn fraidy cat, and I actually had the balls to enter such a place. 
The crazy shit is nasty people are everywhere, as I’m walking and chit chatting to my surprise this clean cut black guy over hears my conversation. As I attempt to cross the street he stops me. Now I’m thinking “ Oh you want my number?” But No! He tells me “ I didn’t mean to over hear your conversation, but I did. My girlfriend and I are looking for a new Sex club, can you tell me the name of the one you were just speaking about?” Get the fuck outta here! You swing? He begins to ask if I’m apart of the “community” I say, "No" followed by a very loud weird laugh. Lol 
But me being nosey I just had to get all up in his Kool- Aid! “ Tell me all about this Sex club, and your Boo! “ Dude was so cool and really didn’t mind sharing their story with me. Let’s call him Jameson! 
Jameson and his girlfriend have been dating for about a year now. However, after about 3months of dating she found his porn collection in his apartment. Jameson remembers feeling awkward and embarrassed at her finding them. To his surprise she was more than cool with his collection and began to inquire whether he would be interested in watching Live! Of course instinctively he thought that shit was some type of joke or massive set up. Lol. But nope she was serious, she begins to tell him that she is a member of this sex club in the Meat Packing district, and that they could go there together and “play”. Man I just couldn’t believe my ears! The girl is the one who turns out the guy?? Wow! So the deal with the Sex club is that No single guys couples only. Single girls are allowed but a female member must accompany the men. Not everyone engages in sexual activity there, some women are dressed in lingerie or naked but you might even see women in business attire! “Shut Up”! 
The first time Jameson and his girlfriend visit the club he was very nervous, so his girlfriend did most of the work, you know selecting the couple. Their first time was with an older white couple but it wasn’t at the club. The couples made a date to meet another night to exchange medical records and “connect “ in a private setting. Jameson says that this is a “lifestyle” medical checkup are mandatory and that people who are in this community are a lot more health conscious then us “naysayers.” He assures me that condoms are always heavily enforced! I hope so shoooooot! Once at the couple’s apartment and pleasantries are exchanged, the wife begins to make her move on Jameson and starts to kiss him. Since he was still feeling a bit uneasy he glances at his girlfriend who encourages him to enjoy as she makes her way across the room to the husband. Some swingers might switch partners during their session, but these two were in it to experience someone new to the fullest! 
After their encounter Jameson and his girlfriend go back home and have sex, alone! According to him the sex is even better! The sex was even hotter because these two were trying to restore the balance in the house. You know that “ this is still my pussy” type of shit! 
I can’t lie I always find open relationships interesting especially when you see couples “successfully” making it work. I keep hearing that the trick or mindset is to see sex as just that sex.
Here’s an interesting statistic though; according to www.ActualSwingers.com 20% of American couples are Swingers! And that couples that enter into a swinging lifestyle can increase their enjoyment and satisfaction in the relationship. They also consider this lifestyle as bringing in a better understanding of themselves and their partner, therefore enhancing their intimacy. Couples who “ Swing” don’t’ enter into to this lifestyle because they are currently in a failing relationship. It’s the opposite. These couples consider themselves to have a great foundation built on trust.
Oh yea when I asked Jameson if he would marry his girlfriend, he responded with “Ahhh right now we’re just having fun, I’m not thinking about marriage”! Uhm I didn’t think so buddy!! 
Although I may visit and be curious a Swinger’s life is not for me. But if my Golden Girls and I ever make it to a Sex club you guys will be the 1st to know.
Anyway who else is swinging out there? Have you ever wondered how the other side lives? Share with me!!
http://www.NicoleSpence.ME

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ORGASMS: Sarah

The rumble of a train on the tracks, the purr of a hairdryer, the rhythmic drone of a photo-copier are all enough to make her go oh oh oh, ahhhhh.

She had FIVE orgasms during our 40-minute interview. But I can’t take the credit-it was just talking about her sex life that set her off.

Sarah, 24, suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs.

She said: "Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don’t seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily."

As she chatted, Sarah became increasingly flustered.

"Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me for a minute. I’ll be with you in a sec," she mumbled before letting out a long sigh.

Sarah, from London, developed PSAS after being prescribed anti-depressants at 19.

 

Click to read.

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Jennifer (name changed) didn’t have sex with her ex-husband on their wedding night. "I chalked it up to fatigue," she says. But should it have been a red flag? Well, maybe.

It’s not that it didn’t happen that one night that was the problem; it’s that it was the first of many sexless married nights. As an engaged couple, Jennifer and her fiancé were doing it about three times a week, but once they said their vows, it quickly dwindled to about once a month — sometimes less.

Some experts call marriages that average 10 rolls in the hay per year or less "sexless," but other experts take the word more literally, like Susan Yager-Berkowitz, who coauthored (with her husband) "Why Men Stop Having Sex: The Phenomenon of Sexless Relationships and What You Can Do About It."

 

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I was supposed to get married last year, but my fiance called off the wedding weeks before the ceremony. He said that I was not passionate enough, but he refuses to leave, constantly telling me what I don’t do and what I can’t do and what I won’t do. There is so much animosity between us that I don’t think we could ever get past it. Do you have any suggestions on how we could make it work or if it is even worth it?

Nikki

Calling off the wedding the month you are supposed to get married is a sign that your fiance was not ready, and he is now blaming his uncertainty on you. Pointing the finger at your spouse is a surefire way to create division and animosity in a relationship. These are all tactics used to push a person away, and it seems that your fiance has no intention of truly saving the relationship. His decision to stay in a mini-marriage and not be married, all the while verbally and emotionally abusing you, sounds like he wants you to end the relationship so that he will not be responsible for its failure. If you want to heal this relationship, you will need a relationship couples coach, and if you decide to end it, I would recommend that you work with a coach to heal the wounds created by all of this emotional turmoil. In the meantime, ask him what his true fears are concerning marriage. Any emotionally stable person knows that you cannot change your partner; you can only change yourself. Taking responsibility for his role in the type of relationship he helped to create would have been the empowering way to address this situation. He could have chosen to approach you differently and been open to sharing his needs for passion and other forms of intimacy with you instead of laying the blame on you for his own cold feet.

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He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,” says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.
2. He steps up the grooming. “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked,” says Vranich. You can actually thank porn for this tipoff. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym.

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Taraji P. Henson is single and trying to mingle, but has some standards when it comes to dating.
“Most men are fragile,” the “Curious Case of Benjamin Button” star says in September’s Men’s Fitness magazine in a story that features some sizzling photos of Henson. “I’m a successful woman, in the public eye, and raising a kid by myself. It can leave guys feeling like, ‘Damn, how can I have a chance?’”

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I am a college student, and I have been in a long-distance relationship for three years with a man who is 11 years older. We met online, grew to be best friends and have been through a lot together. Recently, our relationship suffered a major blow when I was told by his godmother that he was still legally married to his last wife. I confronted him and ended up speaking with the wife. Eventually, we broke things off, and he got divorced, which was confirmed by the county clerk. Since then, we have been trying to rebuild, but I no longer trust him, and I believe it is make us both miserable. Moreover, my insecurities are making him going out of his way to show evidence of his honesty in even the smallest of things. I love this man, and we have overcome racial differences, an age gap and distance, so I know our potential. However, I don’t feel that I can ever trust him again after this. Is it possible for us to recover from this?

Anonymous, 21, Seattle

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Jamie Foxx

Yesterday during an interview on the Wendy Williams Show Jamie Foxx’s former cast mate Garcelle Beauvaix blabbed that Jamie has a new child.  This is how the conversation went:

Garcelle: We saw each other Easter Sunday at a friend’s house and he came with his lovely daughter and he told me that he had a new baby. I said, ‘Wow, Jamie do I know the baby mama?’ and he goes, ‘ No.’ Then I go (jokingly,) ‘Do you know the baby mama?’

Wendy: Wait a minute? Did we know that Jamie Foxx just had a new baby? Well thank you for the Hot Topic ticket!

WoW…I wonder if Jamie is upset about this???

Posted by LadyBaby at 11:50 AM 0 comments

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Rumor is that Kanye West knocked her up.  Does that  mean the baby will be bald too?

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Popular women’s site Jezebel has amassed in one place evidence that confirms what we always suspected. Most of the women appearing on ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ are hardly the rich women they pretend to be. Far from being pampered princesses without a care, NeNe, Kim, Lisa and Sheree are plagued with financial, family and relationship problems just like everybody else. Perhaps this makes for great reality television, because if these ladies were truly elite, they might not be as fun to watch.

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Yep, I’m guilty. I admit it. I have indulged in one of my (many) guilty pleasures, ‘Bridezillas,’ a few times. Now, don’t even try acting all bourgeois, because you know you have, too. And even though we sit back and wonder what man in his right mind would marry one of these crazed chicks, with their “I’m all that” attitudes and ridiculous demands for cerulean – not blue – centerpieces, there’s a thing or two we can learn from them even before we find the proverbial “one.”
1. Be a S.N.O.B.
Opt to settle for nothing other than the best when it comes to matters of your heart. Don’t worry, that doesn’t entail being a pompous, arrogant b&^%$. Instead, it means knowing precisely what you require in a mate and sticking to that ideal. But knowing is half the battle, yes? That brings us to point two.
2. List Your Demands
Mariah and Rihanna list their demands at every one of their shows in the form of a “concert rider”– agreements that each show promoter must adhere to. Guess what? Beyonce ain’t the only diva around. Here’s what you do: Pull out a piece of paper, grab a pen and write down every single thing you want and need in your soon-to-be-found husband (even if you think it’s facetious. FYI: It’s perfectly okay to list attractiveness as a requirement). List them out numerically. There doesn’t have to be a specific order, just get them on paper. Also, there’s no limit, so write to your heart’s content. Next, put stars next to those you deem to be of utmost importance (i.e., compassion for your feelings might be starred, while a required height of 6-foot-3 won’t be quite as pressing). Notice how many are starred versus those that aren’t. The starred ones are must-haves; the unstarred ones are the nice-to-haves. Put it in your wallet and carry it everywhere you go.

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A pregnant woman has sued Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Dennis Northcutt, saying he arranged for his cousin to beat her up.

Sharri Henry, who claims to be four months pregnant with Northcutt’s baby, filed the lawsuit Wednesday in Los Angeles Superior Court. She accuses Northcutt, a nine-year NFL veteran, of trying to harm her unborn child and permanently disfigure her face May 17 at a Hollywood restaurant.

 

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“Mother Nature is a wicked old witch,” it has been said. We like to believe that Lisa Nowak and all the rest of those who succumb to romantic jealousy are fragile victims of a bad childhood or are weak, narcissistic or deranged. 

But Mother Nature plays a role in jealousy. In an article in the Los Angeles Times on February 14th, David Buss, a leading evolutionary psychologist, wrote that some 93% of American men and 82% of American women were the focus of an attempted seduction while they were in a relationship.  Moreover, 53% of men and 41% of women had lost their partner to a romantic rival: mate poaching.

No wonder, as an Australian Aborigine wisely said, “We are a jealous people.”  We can turn murderous, too.  In a study of 5,000 people in six cultures, 84% of women and 91% of men admitted to having had at least one fantasy about murdering a sweetheart or a romantic rival.  Many of us contain this “green eyed monster,” as Shakespeare called jealousy. But many don’t. Buss reports that sexual jealousy is “the leading cause of spousal murder worldwide.”

 

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NBA star Shaquille O’Neal has been ordered to steer clear of an Atlanta-area woman who took out a restraining order Thursday.

Fulton County Superior Court Judge Richard Hicks granted Alexis Miller’s request Thursday after reviewing her allegations that the basketball player stalked her, threatened her with bodily harm and made harassing phone calls in which he breathed heavily into the phone before hanging up.

Miller, a 23-year-old hip-hop artist known professionally as Maryjane, claimed she ended an intimate relationship with O’Neal last month. She alleged he then threatened to pay performers $50,000 each not to work with her.

“It’s been very difficult for her,” said L. David Wolfe, Miller’s Atlanta-based attorney. “Her fears are not only for herself but also the people around her.” He said Miller, who has a young son, is “pretty traumatized.”

Wolfe said Miller had known the 7-foot-1, 325-pound All-Star center for about a year and a half, and that the two became intimate over the past six to eight months.

 

As kids go back to school, many parents are wondering if their daughters should receive the HPV vaccine. USA TODAY asked experts to address the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine, approved in 2006.

Q. Is the vaccine safe?

A. Yes, says John Iskander, director of vaccine safety at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Researchers tested the Gardasil vaccine, which prevents infection from four types of human papillomavirus, in more than 11,000 girls and women between ages 15 and 26 before it was approved.

Merck has distributed more than 16 million doses in the USA since then. The CDC has been monitoring suspected problems reported to the federal Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System.

Q. Have patients experienced any serious health problems after getting the vaccine?

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Food and Drug Administration | Prevention | Centers for Disease Control | New England Journal of Medicine | Gardasil | Mark Goldstein

A. Yes, although doctors don’t think the vaccine caused these problems. About 6% of the nearly 9,800 events have been serious, including 20 deaths, according to the Food and Drug Administration.

There was no common pattern to these deaths that suggests the vaccine was to blame, according to the FDA. Health officials also reviewed any available autopsy results, death certificates and medical records, none of which suggest the vaccine was the problem.

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